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Marty's Memoirs





___Jeff Randall entered his office to find the typewriter hard at work. After making sure that Jeannie Hopkirk was nowhere to be seen, he shut the door and called aloud. "Marty! Is that you?"
___"Of course it's me! Do you expect a typewriter to work on its own?" The ghost of Marty Hopkirk materialised in the chair in front of the typewriter. He read back the last line to himself and grinned with satisfaction.
___"Well... What are you doing? And I don't think you should be using the office typewriter!"
___"Why not?" Marty smirked at him. "Are you worried that I'll get ectoplasm on it?" ___"Oh, don't be daft! I'm thinking about Jeannie, and how she might feel if she should find the typewriter working on it's own. How would I explain that one?"
___Marty gave his partner one of his 'don't you know anything' looks. "Actually, Jeannie won't be coming in."
___"Why? What's wrong with her?" Jeff suddenly looked very worried.
___"If you were here when you were SUPPOSED to be, you would have got her call..."
___"Don't start that!" Jeff snapped. "I'm not in the mood, Marty. Just give me her message."
___Marty leaned back in his chair, obviously enjoying himself. "Her aunt has been taken ill, so she and Jenny are helping out, if you must know. Jeannie's going to try getting hold of you again around about lunch time. Can I get on with my work, now?"
___"Can't you do that somewhere else?" Jeff asked, going to get himself a coffee. "What if a client were to come in?"
___"I'd know they were here before they noticed anything strange," Marty assured his partner. "Besides, what client? This office has been as quiet as the grave for the last three days!"
___"That's what happens when ghosts start hanging around a place, Marty." Jeff took a sip of his coffee and moved back to the desk, hoping to read over his partner's shoulder. "What are you working on, anyway?"
___"My memoirs," Marty told him, importantly. "I don't know why I didn't think of it before! The tales I could tell..."
___"Marty, ghosts don't write memoirs."
___"How would you know?" Marty snapped at him. "There are loads of memoirs of dead men! How do you know that they weren't written by ghosts?"
___Jeff sighed and took another sip of coffee. "All I'm saying is that... You can't write about your time as a ghost, because nobody would believe it!"
___Marty rolled his eyes. "I'm not writing about being a ghost! Although it would be pretty interesting, wouldn't it?"
___"Incredible," Randall shook his head and went to sit at his own desk.
___"Anyway, where was I?" Marty asked himself. He reread the last line, lips moving slightly as he did so. "Oh yes!" He was about to continue when he was interrupted again.
___"Are you going to be at it all day?"
___"Yes, I certainly will! Especially if you're going to interrupt me every two seconds and put me off!"
___Jeff sighed tiredly. "Sorry I spoke!"

___Jeff Randall and I go back a long way. We knew eachother at school. Jeff was a bit of a trouble-maker, and I always had to get him out of it somehow. Of course, it didn't always work out, and then we'd both be in trouble. Marty leaned back, thinking hard. Where was he going with this?
___"I wasn't the only trouble-maker, Marty," Randall said, pointedly.
___"You weren't supposed to be reading over my shoulder, Jeff," Hopkirk replied in the same tone, without turning round.
___"Who was it that put a frog down the back of Kate Stubbs?"
___Marty spun around. "That was different! She used to drive me insane - always chasing me, and trying to kiss me!" he pulled a face, remembering. "Serves her right!"
___"I would have enjoyed that," Jeff mumbled, thoughtfully.
___"Not at the age of five, you wouldn't!"
___"Hmm... Perhaps you're right."
___"Anyway, can I please get on?"
___"I'm not stopping you, Marty. Go on."

___When we left school, we set up our own private investigation business. That's when things got interesting.
___"Nice way of starting off, Marty. What are you going to tell us about, then? Your greatest case?" he smirked.
___"I could well do - after all, only a very good detective could have solved that one!"
___"Only an idiot would have walked into that one!" Jeff returned.
___Hopkirk sent Randall's cup of coffee into his lap angrily. "That's unfair, Jeff!"
___Jeff stood up and fetched some tissues from his briefcase. "Grow up, Marty!"
___"Anyway, I'll put that one in later. I should list a few cases and that was one of my last."
___"What are you starting with, then?"
___"Our first case - I mean, our first BIG case - after all, you should always start at the beginning!"
___Randall rolled his eyes and went to make himself another cup of coffee.
___"Jeff! You were the one that always named our cases... What was the first one called?"
___"Look in the filing cabinet," Randall suggested helpfully.
___Hopkirk scowled at his partner's turned back. "You know I can't!"